Author: paul@digitaldendrite.com

I see these things from Japan and I can’t help but thinking that this would have been something Greg would have found and sent me, or at least bought if he could have found it…

At least they’re cheerful.

Two short snippets here today:

First, a few days ago we were at the dinner table and Kim was quizzing the kids on who was on what currency. So, she asks Ellen “If Jefferson is on the front of the Nickel, what is on the back?” Katie pipes up with “Tails!” Couldn’t call her wrong, could we?

Second, we’re walking to school yesterday and they’re talking about a book Ellen loved called “Pinky Pye”:

E: Did you read the epilogue, Katie?
K: No. What’s an epilogue?
E: It’s like a prologue, but it’s at the end of the book. Now ask me what a prologue is.
K: What’s a prologue?
E: (giggling) It’s like an epilogue, except at the front of the book.

Smart ass.

Last night we had Ellen alone, as Katie had a PJ party at a friend’s (10 or so 6 and 7 year olds for 5 hours…um…no thanks!), so we decided to watch “Raiders of the Lost Ark.” As this is clearly a movie that would scare the bejesus out of Katie, we needed a night when it was only Ellen and us. So, about 8:00 we queued up the movie and the little squirt sat in rapt attention for 2+ hours as one of my all time favorite movies slithered its way into our living room. Much to our surprise, she wasn’t scared by some of the corpses or exploding heads or snakes or other bits of movie nastiness, but, to illustrate her naiveté, she did ask early on if the people who were getting killed in the movie were really dead.

What I liked best were two things. First, regarding the scene with the Germans getting their faces melted by the wraith of God after opening the Ark, she said how great the “graphics” were. Trying to conceive of a movie made before there was computer animation in it boggled her mind. Second, when it was all over, and I asked her how she liked it, the simple answer was “That was amazing!”

A new, life-long fan, and well deserved.

Katie has a weekly assignment to write either a journal or a story or poetry over the weekends for class. For this weekend, this is what she came up with (and she drew a picture to illustrate it):

Lilly, Lilly ballerina. Lilly lilly on the wall. balance standup very tall. skips and twirls across the stage. Oh, no an “F!” Towering rage. will she do a good job? yes! bravo! Encore!

Cute, isn’t it?

Today, the family bid adieu to our beloved hermaphrodite, Joe-Anna. The resident snail of Ellen’s bedroom, and mother/father to fully 16 currently living offspring (which may explain why s/he died…), passed away today at an indeterminate age. The truly interesting part of this story, however was the funeral service that Ellen came up with and performed.

She asked that we all wear something black and follow her outside where she would conduct the funeral. With Ellen standing on the deck, after she guided us to stand in front of my apple trees, she read first from Genesis, and then recited from memory (and as dramatically as you can imagine, complete with hand gestures and dramtic pauses) the story of Pandora and how Death was released upon the world. According to Kim, Ellen thought it appropriate to say something about how life started and ended.

Finally, she finished by digging a small grave and putting Joe-Anna (who had been sealed inside a single egg carton shell) into the ground. After covering him/her with dirt, she allowed Katie (who was quite bored by this point) to place the headstone dedicated to Joe-Anna the snail, indeterminate birth date, date of death September 8, 2007.

Safe passage, Joe-Anna. Ellen will look after your children.

God help me, but apparently Ellen has now begun quoting the peasants from Monty Python and the Holy Grail when being forced to do things she doesn’t want to do. Lines such as:

“Help! Help! I’m being repressed!”

and

“Come see the violence inherent in the system!”

regularly pop forth from her mouth if she feels she is being underserved by the resident parent population.

Sigh.

Just got back from a nice 5 days visiting with my buddy David down in an area sort of mid-way between us called “Chesapeake Beach” Maryland. A small town, with a decent resort in it, the Chesapeake Beach Resort and Spa (clever name, huh?) Rooms were nice, although the A/C sucked (don’t they always at hotels?). However, in the realm of giving the people what they want, instead of what they need, the hotel had just finished putting 40″ flat screen HD TV’s in all the rooms, so we plugged our XBox 360s and Wiis into that and damn if it didn’t look great. Yes, folks, I go on vacation and spend time playing video games. Geek that I am.

We also fished (we caught about 14 fish), played golf (shot a 50 on 9 holes, played really well, though), tennis (damn, I suck–it’s been a LONG time), and just generally vegged out. Watched some movies on DVD (yay for big HD screens!), bobbed in the pool, and overall relaxed. This is one of those vacations I didn’t need a vacation from afterwards. Here’s a shot of the two of us on the boat. I’m the shorter, rounder one.

Looking out the window today, I was suprised to see my eldest daughter marching back and forth on the sidewalk in front of the house with a sign (and an apron, but whatever–it’s Ellen, so I just accept it.) After trying to decide what we had done to deserve protest, imagining signs such as “Ellen can play Runescape anytime!” or “Cleaning up is unfair!”, I asked her out of the window what the sign says. She turned around to completely surprise me with a sign that said “SEND OUR TROOPS HOME!” We don’t talk much about the war in Iraq here, and when we do it’s not generally to the kids, so this was certainly unexpected. Apparently, she read an article today about how a group marches up and down along some highways and asked Kim if she could join them. Deciding a 9 year old was a little too young to take part, Kim said she could march up and down on our sidewalk if she wanted. So, sign in hand, she did.

Of course, never to be forgotten in the realm of “never try to guess what kids will do or say”, as I was writing this, I heard Katie come inside from watching her sister yelling, “Mom! I need you to wash off my muffin!”

So, there.

My mother in law has made my kids’ costumes for the past several years. Each year, Katie goes as someone (or something) recognizable. Dog. Cow. Ghost. Whatever.

Each year Ellen goes as something (or someone) that no one would ever recognize. Dumbledore. The Solar System. Pearl, from Finding Nemo. Lyra, from The Golden Compass.

This year, the kids are thinking about what they’re going to go as. Katie hasn’t chimed in yet, but here is what Ellen’s thoughts on the subject were:

Eragon (with the expectation of Grandma making her armor…)
The Macintosh “Spinning Beach Ball of Death”
A quark (the sub-atomic particle)
A black hole.
A can of Sprite.

Then the giggles came and the real ideas went out the window.