Category: Uncategorized

I haven’t posted to here in forever, but this seemed like the best place to paste in one of the worst, most annoying tech support chats I’ve ever had. It wasn’t that the tech was stupid–I’ve no idea if he was or wasn’t. It was that he was ignorant and refused to listen. And it made me crazy (and sarcastic, and pissed off…)

——

9:22:41 PM
Harshitha V
Hello
9:22:53 PM
Harshitha V
Thank you for contacting support. I apologize for the wait time. Your patience is greatly appreciated.
9:22:59 PM
Me
hi.
9:23:25 PM
Me
the last 4 is e.42
9:26:20 PM
Me
hello?
9:26:41 PM
Harshitha V
One moment please
9:26:42 PM
Me
I understand that I had to wait awhile, but I hope that I’m not waiting a long time in between responses as well.
9:27:12 PM
Harshitha V
Thank you for validating
9:27:41 PM
Harshitha V
Is webmail working fine for you ?
9:28:18 PM
Me
did you read my question?
9:28:24 PM
Me
all mail is getting BOUNCED
9:28:26 PM
Harshitha V
Yes I did
9:28:36 PM
Me
so it’s not a question of whether webmail is working
9:28:42 PM
Harshitha V
Can I get the bounceback please ?
9:28:59 PM
Me
yes, one sec.
9:29:16 PM
Me

(provides mail headers)

9:29:44 PM
Harshitha V
I also want to know if webmail also gives the same error
9:30:23 PM
Me
the error is coming from other people sending email to ME.
9:30:28 PM
Me
it’s not in webmail
9:30:49 PM
Me
nothing has come into my email of any sort in something like 5 hours.
9:31:02 PM
Harshitha V
Can I get an email address to test please ?
9:31:16 PM
Me
user@domain.com
9:31:21 PM
Me
that’s the one in the bounce.
9:32:12 PM
Harshitha V
The mx record for domain.com domain is not pointing to us
9:32:23 PM
Me
no, it’s not.
9:32:24 PM
Harshitha V
Its currently pointing to :

domain.com MX preference = 20, mail exchanger = dwt5-1.mx20.pef.luxsci.com

domain.com MX preference = 10, mail exchanger = dwt5-1.mx10.pef.luxsci.com

9:32:31 PM
Me
I know.
9:32:34 PM
Me
hat’s where it’s supposed to be
9:32:44 PM
Me
that’s what I said in my original message here
9:33:05 PM
Me
I had it pointing to my previous spam filtering provider–McAfee
9:33:05 PM
Harshitha V
You need to contact your email service provider regarding this issue
9:33:10 PM
Me
now it’s pointing to the NEW one.
9:33:17 PM
Me
no, it’s you guys.
9:33:34 PM
Harshitha V
Since the mx records are not pointing to us, we do not have any control over the emails
9:33:40 PM
Me
please, I’m begging you to actually investigate this
9:33:50 PM
Harshitha V
Our mx record will be mail.domain.com
9:33:52 PM
Me
you are bouncing it
9:33:54 PM
Me
YOU
9:34:01 PM
Me
BLUEHOST
9:34:06 PM
Me
is bouncing these emails
9:34:18 PM
Me
NOT the spam filtering provider
9:34:29 PM
Me
proofpoint is trying to deliver to YOU. To BLUEHOST
9:34:37 PM
Me
and BLUEHOST is bouncing them
9:35:32 PM
Me
so I need you to actually look into this issue. I’ve been dealing with the spam provider on and off for hours an ultimately it appears that BLUEHOST is the one bouncing the emails
9:35:42 PM
Me
so please do not pass me back to them—it’s NOT them.
9:38:31 PM
Harshitha V
I am sorry , the emails are getting bounced because the mx record id not pointing to us
9:38:42 PM
Harshitha V
We do not have any control over the domain
9:39:12 PM
Harshitha V
If you want us to check the issue , then you can point the mx records to us so that we get access to check the logs
9:39:12 PM
Me
I can’t believe I have to actually argue with you here
9:39:19 PM
Me
let me be clear…
9:39:36 PM
Me
the MX records were pointed to ANOTHER SPAM PROVIDER for 2 YEARS.
9:39:39 PM
Me
and have been working fine.
9:39:46 PM
Me
they were NOT pointed to you.
9:40:02 PM
Me
now they are simply pointed to a DIFFERENT spam filter provider
9:40:18 PM
Me
and suddenly they are not working, and the issue is at bluehost.
9:40:58 PM
Me
look, when I go to the zone editor, the MX routing is set to REMOTE
9:41:33 PM
Me
what’s happening is simple. mail comes to the spam provider. They clean it and send to you.
9:41:40 PM
Me
and you accept the mail for the mailbox.
9:41:46 PM
Me
their MX records point to you.
9:42:23 PM
Me
but your system is NOT accepting these emails.
9:42:37 PM
Me
it’s leaving the spam provider and coming to you…and being bounced back
9:42:42 PM
Me
FROM BLUEHOST
9:42:48 PM
Me
bluehost is BOUNCING the mail back
9:43:02 PM
Me
you need to figure out why you’re not accepting the mail being delivered.
9:45:08 PM
Me
here’s a log from an email I sent earlier.
9:45:09 PM
Me

(provides logs)

9:45:30 PM
Me
you’ll see that proofpoint is making it very clear: Summary: This message was rejected by its destination for reasons outside the control of Proofpoint Essentials, and got returned to the sender
9:45:38 PM
Me
that’s BLUEHOST bouncing it.
9:46:24 PM
Me
you need to accept incoming mail from proofpoint’s IPs (which I can get you) for this user’s domains
9:46:35 PM
Harshitha V
Can you please hold? I am going to research this for you right now and it should take about [3-4 minutes]. I will be back as quickly as I can.
9:46:50 PM
Me
ok.
9:50:55 PM
Harshitha V
Thank you for holding
9:51:04 PM
Me
ok
9:51:13 PM
Harshitha V
I have checked with my specialist and they said that any bounce back needs to be handled by your mail server
9:51:33 PM
Me
you ARE MY MAIL SERVER
9:51:47 PM
Me
I don’t udnerstand how you can read what I’m saying and not understand.
9:51:57 PM
Me
BLUEHOST hosts my mail
9:52:00 PM
Me
not elsewhere.
9:52:12 PM
Harshitha V
No we are not hosting the mails for you
9:52:23 PM
Harshitha V
Mx records are pointing to :

domain.com MX preference = 20, mail exchanger = dwt5-1.mx20.pef.luxsci.com

domain.com MX preference = 10, mail exchanger = dwt5-1.mx10.pef.luxsci.com

9:52:31 PM
Harshitha V
And its not our mx records
9:52:42 PM
Me
listen…I’m begging with you to listen to me.
9:52:55 PM
Me
all that is is the SPAM FILTER SERVICE.
9:52:56 PM
Me

9:53:04 PM
Me
they then send the mail BACK TO BLUEHOST
9:53:13 PM
Me
and you put it in the users mailbox
9:53:26 PM
Me
we’ve had the SAME SETUP for years
9:53:44 PM
Me
all that’s changed is the outside service we use
9:53:50 PM
Me
but BLUEHOST hosts the mail.
9:53:59 PM
Me
if I log into my webmail, I’ll see it all there.
9:53:59 PM
Me

9:54:04 PM
Me
because you HOST IT.
9:54:13 PM
Me
I don’t know how else to explain it to you.
9:56:12 PM
Me
if you’re going to discuss with a specialist, please tell them the entire thing that I’m telling you.
9:56:26 PM
Me
not just “MX doesn’t point to us and it’s bouncing…so what do I do?”
9:56:39 PM
Me
please feel free to bring someone else in here.
9:58:48 PM
Harshitha V
If we do not provide email services, there is nothing we can do from our end sadly
9:59:07 PM
Me
oh my god.
9:59:20 PM
Me
you are utterly not listening to me at all.
9:59:31 PM
Me
and I can’t tell you how annoying it is.
9:59:46 PM
Me
now, listen…all of my mail is at bluehost.
9:59:58 PM
Me
user@domain.com is at bluehost
10:00:05 PM
Me
you have an imap server
10:00:09 PM
Me
I use your IMAP server
10:00:20 PM
Me
my mail is on your IMAP server
10:00:27 PM
Me
is any of this unclear?
10:00:39 PM
Me
when I log into webmail on bluehost, I see all of my mail
10:00:49 PM
Harshitha V
Yes, you have hosting account with domain.com domain and with that you can create email account. But, to use and to work with it the MX should be with us
10:01:16 PM
Me
no, it shouldn’t.
10:02:13 PM
Me
because I use an outside service to filter email
10:02:20 PM
Me
so it goes to them FIRST, then to you.
10:02:25 PM
Me
that’s how those services work.
10:02:29 PM
Harshitha V
Yes, A mail exchanger (MX) record is a type of DNS record that identifies which server will handle the incoming mail for your domain.
10:02:32 PM
Me
mail comes to the outside filtering service
10:02:55 PM
Me
(i’m going to pretend you didn’t just try to explain to me what an MX record is).
10:03:13 PM
Me
as I was saying, mail comes to the outside filtering service and then they send that cleaned mail to you.
10:03:18 PM
Me
you put it in my mailbox
10:03:27 PM
Me
I’ve been diong it this way for FIVE YEARS
10:03:42 PM
Me
it went to my spam filtering service and then to you
10:04:13 PM
Me
every day, all day, all night. ALL mail went to mxlogic and then to you.
10:04:46 PM
Me
and now the mail is going to a DIFFERENT filtering service and then to you.
10:05:24 PM
Me
it’s worked this way just fine for a very long time…and now it doesn’t. and what you’re trying to tell me is that mail isn’t at bluehost.
10:05:31 PM
Me
because the MX records don’t point to you.
10:05:38 PM
Me
well, I’m telling you WHY they don’t.
10:05:43 PM
Me
and you’re not listening.
10:06:44 PM
Me
so I’m trying again. Please ask someone else if need be
10:07:13 PM
Me
but understand that your service works fine with mail that goes to external spam filtering services first and then back
10:07:27 PM
Me
assuming you’re not blocking that service, which I belive you are.
10:10:59 PM
Me
OK, listen. I fixed it.
10:11:13 PM
Me
it would have taken you 1 minute to actually figure it out and fix it.
10:11:22 PM
Me
but instead you just refused to listen to me.
10:11:51 PM
Me
So I’m going to rate you basically a 0 and make sure this log gets to someone who can review your performance. This was SUCH A waste of my time.

As always, it’s been awhile since I’ve posted anything, but this seemed to be a worthwhile topic to spend some time on. Linda and I moved last June with the kids into a lovely house here in West Orange. Linda’s ex, Mike, also moved up here and took a nice, charming home about a mile away.

For the most part, I love the house, and I’ve really liked West Orange since Kim and I moved here back in 2000. The people are mostly friendly, the area is full of trees, it’s convenient to NYC for my commute, and this new house is just beautiful with a huge yard and plenty of 1920’s charm.

Fast forward to about 5 or 6 months ago, when Mike is still getting settled and his house was robbed. Someone (or several someones) broke in during the day while he was out, took a number of things, and left. The place wasn’t trashed or anything, and it wasn’t a financial disaster–just enough to be annoying and uncomfortable.

Again, move forward to about 3 months ago when I happened to be awake at around 2 AM one evening when I see someone going through our cars in our driveway with a penlight in hand. I called the police, who were there within 5 minutes in force, and really nothing was taken, but it was distressing and I was once again reminded that even though our little ‘burb is a nice place to live, there are people out there who want what we have and don’t mind just taking it from us given the chance.

Now we get to this past Sat. night. While myself, Linda and the kids (including Ellen) were sleeping in my house, someone opened the back door and robbed us. They went through the first floor, took laptops, my new camera, my wallet, linda’s purse, and fled. We didn’t find out about it until the police came to show us that a neighbor had found some of our discarded things in their yard and called them.

Needless to say, this last was difficult to accept. The “stuff” can and will all be replaced, but the idea of someone in our house while we’re there was and is very disconcerting and is taking a bit of time to come to grips with.

Yesterday, the Mayor of West Orange called my cell to apologize on behalf of the town, and hope that we were all OK, which was very nice. I didn’t get a chance to talk to him much because I had a contractor coming to look at getting better doors on the house to prevent this happening again, but I took the time to write him an email, and he wrote back today. I thought I’d share those emails here:

From me, yesterday:

Hi Mr. Mayor,

First, thanks for the phone call today. It was as appreciate as it was unexpected.

Second, I’m sorry if it felt like I had to draw our talk to a close quickly. I had reached out to a local contractor to get new, better doors in the back to replace the one that got broken into, and he drove up (and the dog started freaking out) as you and I were talking. Generally, I wouldn’t be rushing to hang up on the mayor…

Third, I have to say that I’ve been a WO resident for almost 15 years now. I lived with my now-ex-wife up at 14 Colony Drive West until this past June, when our divorce was finalized and I moved in with my new fiancee (wedding in September here at 35 beverly!) and her two kids. In that time, I’ve always felt very safe in WO. However (and you knew there was a “however” coming, didn’t you?), it’s been pretty dicey since my new family moved up here.

My wife’s ex moved up with her and the kids and took a house on Gregory (11 Gregory) shortly after we bought our house. About 6 months ago, HE was robbed. The kids (her family is all from Northern VA) are used to very safe, and that eroded that just a bit. But then, about 3 months someone went through our cars in our driveway. I called the police, who were here in force very quickly, but no one was caught. Then last night, we were robbed while still in the house.

West Orange has been my home for quite awhile, and I like it very much, but it’s not making a great impression on the kids to be honest. I don’t know what we can do about it, but I moved from Queens where I didn’t ever feel particularly safe to WO where I always have–until recently.

Again, thanks for the call. Let me know what you think, if you have time.

Paul
—

From the Mayor, Robert Parisi, today:

Good afternoon…took me awhile to figure out how to respond and not sure I came up with a good solution. Very heartbreaking to read your email…especially as someone who has spent his whole life here and still, despite our flaws, believes deeply in the community. We obviously have occasional crime…be foolish to suggest otherwise…we always have and, in truth, for those that care about statistics, our crime is way down from a year ago…all that, means a hill of beans for you and your family. I would love to be able to schedule time to come visit with you…maybe even the extended family you reference or interested neighbors…along with the Police Chief and talk about these concerns…would you be interested in hosting us one night at your convenience?

—-

I think it goes without saying that this is a wonderfully unexpected and caring gesture. I’ve never really heard of this kind of thing before, and it IS much appreciated. I expect that we WILL host Mr. Parisi and his chief of police once we determine what the best way to do this will be, and who we should ask to join us. We don’t really know our neighbors yet, but I can think of a number of people would might have some good questions or ideas.

Regardless, it’s been an interesting few days and does appear to be getting more interesting by the day. More to come on this.

Today was one of the longest days I can remember, but in both good and bad ways, and just about everything in between.

Good news: We moved into our new house.

Bad news: We moved into our new house.

There is nothing quite as exhausting, harrowing and soul wearying as moving, especially when it’s a big move involving a tractor-trailer worth of stuff.

Linda, Chris and I were up and out by 8 to meet the movers who, although they tried valiantly, were unable to get the semi closer than about 100 feet from our driveway. The street is just too narrow and they gave up after about 30 minutes of minute backing up and down the street (and getting yelled at by a neighbor…) So, a long day for a bunch of guys who earned their pay + tip + the big lunch I bought them. What a way to make a living…

So, by 9 the movers were bringing things in and we were shuttling them into place as best we could.

At 10:30, Kim came over with freshly baked banana muffins. Really? Yup. I’m a pretty lucky guy to have such a great relationship with my Ex, and as always she went above and beyond.

At 11, the Verizon FIOS guy game and went ABOVE AND BEYOND doing wiring all over my house of both coax AND Cat-5e for me, saving me a huge amount of time and trouble.

At 1 someone came to give us an estimate on central AC for this house. Let’s just say that following the discussion, I went out to home depot, rented a van, and bought 5 window units. $35,000 for AC is not in the cards anytime soon…

Lindsay slept until about 1 PM. Yay for active teenagers…

Back to drop off the van at Home Depot, grab the car and head to Costco for a stock up run.

Back home to find my kids actively bustling around the place putting things away with Chris and Lindsay and Linda.

Forward about 30 minutes later and Kim came by again, this time joining us for dinner. 7 people, all family, sitting around the dinner table in a chaos of boxes and half-unwrapped stuff. Except that all that was forgotten while the family–this big, crazy family–continued to bond and grow together in the best way imaginable.

This is going to be fun. Tiring, but so much fun.

It is with profoundly conflicted emotions that I wrap up what will be my last night living in the home I’ve helped create for at least the last 14 years. As many of you know, Kim and I have been on the road to divorce for what seems like forever, and which will actually be official on Friday. Ironically, that’s almost an afterthought compared to the fact that, after I wake up tomorrow and walk out of my door, I will never be coming back to live here. I’ll be boarding an Amtrak to VA after work, as I have done for more than 2 years at this point, but when I come back on Sunday, it will not be by train, but driving one of the cars in the final stage of moving Linda, Lindsay, Chris and myself to our new home a few blocks away.

Starting Monday (assuming all goes well), I’ll be helping set up a new life for myself, Linda, and her kids in West Orange. Of course, I’ll see Kim and my kids often, if not daily, at least every other day or so, but to know that I will not be living in what was my room, sleeping in what was my bed, is a hard truth.

Tonight was spent watching TV and movies with Kim and the kids. A Mythbusters with dinner, and then at least Ellen and I made it through one of my all-time favorite films, Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid. Kim slept through part of it (and hey, it wouldn’t be Kim if she hadn’t…) and Katie slept through most of it, but it was so nice to snuggle on the couch with my girls.

So, first and foremost, thank you Kim for making the best of a weird situation, for never making me feel like a stranger or intruder here, and for always making me feel at home. Without the ease of our relationship, this would have been so much more difficult.

Next, I hope my girls know how much I love them, and will always love them. I hope they see that this is a transition, not a goodbye, and that, if anything, I’ll actually get to see them more in the upcoming days than I have with all the weekends away.

Lastly, and not least, part of me is starting to get excited at the prospect of all the years of effort and struggle to make this grandiose idea come true. This idea of not leaving one family for another, but of making one large family where everyone can be in town for all of the events in people’s lives, instead of having to try to plan a special trip when it’s feasible. The prospect of having two groups of parents and kids be able to intermingle like one big group, be able to spend time, come and go, and genuinely care about all the goings-on, both small and large in each other’s lives. The idea that Kim and my kids understand that they are more than invited to come spend time at our new home, but that they know they will be missed when they’re not around.

Here’s to the big plan, the grand idea, and a new, bright future surrounded by the people I love.

Tonight I was fortunate enough to see the almost-ageless Paul Simon in a tiny venue in NYC (Webster Hall) with my friend Brandi.

(click on any of the pictures to make them REALLY big and mostly blurry! Yay!)

Wanting a decent spot in the room, I arrived about 2 hours before the doors were scheduled to open, figuring there would be a bunch of people already. In fact, I ended up maybe 10th in line, and then right against the rail in the front of the room:

The concert started an hour late, but all thoughts of having stood forever vanished as they came out and started with one song after another that I knew and loved. 50 Ways to Leave Your Lover, Kodachrome, Slip Sliding Away, Hearts and Bones, and easily a dozen more before the first encore. Here are a few shots:

The set must have gone on for 90 minutes, without a break. Song after song, sounding great. After the first set, he came back for the first encore by himself, and I happened to decide to take the only video of the night. At first, I was going to just record audio in my pocket (hence the black 10 seconds or so with sound) but then I decided what the hell and put the camera on the rail to take the whole song. I didn’t realize I ended it so abruptly, but otherwise the video’s not bad. It’s a bit weird when it’s pretty obvious and you’re RIGHT THERE and he’s staring at you…but enjoy. (don’t know why there’s no controller, but just double-click on the box below and it should play…)

A blur of songs afterwards, including a great version of Diamonds on the Soles of Her Shoes, he left and returned for a last encore. Before he did, though, they brought out a second mic. Of course, a buzz ran through the already very raucous crowd as to who was coming out with him. Turns out, for some bizarre reason, it was David Byrne from The Talking Heads.

Byrne is a really wacky guy. I’ve never seen him in person and know very little Talking Heads, but he’s got a great voice and they powered through Road to Nowhere and then an insanely goofy version of You Can Call Me Al, featuring Byrne dancing around the stage until he toppled over a floor-speaker into the bass player. Still, unabashed but laughing, he got up and continued (somewhat more safely) to prance around the stage, forgetting lyrics and having a good ole time. The crowd loved it.

We found out at the end of the show that they whole thing was being taped for a PBS/DVD special. I have a feeling Brandi and I will be splashed all over that DVD as the camera was pointed squarely at us for long periods of time. Hopefully, the cameras will capture what we really saw–a master performer running through 4+ decades of great songs, with great musicians in an amazing setting. The floors were literally bouncing up and down all night as people stomped, bounced and danced their way through one of the best concerts I’ve ever been to.

Here’s to you, Paul Simon. Still crazy after all these years.

Tonight is a milestone–the last elementary school band/chorus concert we will ever have to attend. Hot cross buns, Mary had a little lamb, and all the other training wheel songs are a thing of the past after tonight. Although the kids play their little hearts out, I can’t say I’ll miss this part of the little-kid experience. Listening to 20 apathetic 9 year olds murder Beethoven is getting tired…

Overheard today from Ellen:

“I’m not predisposed to self-motivation.”

and when talking about Lady Gaga’s “Meat dress”:

“Afterwards, we could have Rack of Gaga.”

Ew.

Could be worse. I could write like Alan Paton. Or Sue Grafton. *shudder*

At the request of Nathalie, I am posting a very simple recipe for what to do with nice, fresh strawberries this summer:

1 angel food cake (bake it if you want — I just bought one. Much easier).
2 lbs strawberries
2-3 tbs sugar, depending on how sweet you like it.
2 tsp lemon juice

Wash strawberries. Cut ends off, and quarter or cut up smaller if you like. Put into large bowl and cover with sugar and lemon juice, stir well. Cover and let stand in fridge for 2-3 hours, stirring every so often. This lets the syrup form (it’s called “Masceration“).

For the whipped cream:

2 cups heavy cream
4-5 tbs powdered sugar
2 tsb vanilla

Mix all ingredients in bowl and using either standup mixer or hand mixer beat on high until stiff peaks form in the cream (figure about 3-4 minutes).

When the berries have formed juice and you’re ready to eat, cut slices of cake, ladle over some strawberries and syrup and put a nice big blob of whipped cream on the side. If you want to get fancy, lightly toast the slices of cake in a toaster oven.

Recently, I had to take a piece from Katie’s computer to fix a client’s machine that was down completely. When I got home, I had to explain to katie that it could be a week or so before her computer was working again. She said it was OK, and proceeded to use a laptop, and Kim’s computer, and pester Ellen a bit who barely let her touch her computer.

However…at no point did she complain, or whine, or get angry. She was very appreciative when I hooked her computer back up and thanked me for doing it.

This is a message to my little katie-bug. Thank you, sweetie, for being so generous and so understanding. I think you get a special treat this week, and you deserve it. I’m proud of how you behaved.