It Happened One Life

Author: paul@digitaldendrite.com

  • Pumpkins ’08

    Another year, another batch of those short-lived art forms that are carved pumpkins. This year, much to my delight, the kids did theirs almost entirely on their own. We also tried something new that worked pretty well–Saral Transfer paper. This stuff goes right on the pumpkin, then the design gets put on top of that and you trace the design. When the tracing is done, you peel the whole thing off and have a nice clear copy of your design right on the pumpkin. This worked much better than the hole-punch-through-paper method because 1, the paper would get soggy and messed up half-way through the carving, and 2, there was no real way to determine what needed to be scraped, and what was supposed to be cut without checking the pattern anyway. So, this new way takes some time, but worked pretty well.

    The kids picked their patterns and have finished theirs already, so I’ll post pictures. Mine will be done tomorrow, and I’ll post then–If the complexity of the one I chose doesn’t kill me…

    Katie chose the great Ang from a show they love called “Avatar.” Here’s the original Ang:

    and her version–and remember, at 8 years old, this is all her doing:

    Ellen, ever the activist, did what we hope to be our next president, Barak Obama:

    Very nice job by both of them, showing tremendous patience with seriously advanced pumpkin carving.

    So, updating now with my pumpkin, I chose a pretty ambitious project and after 2 hours tracing and a full 6 hours carving, I’m only somewhat happy with it. I think I just didn’t quite scrape deeply enough where it’s scraped, or maybe the pumpkin is just too thick. I’m hoping it will pop a bit more when it has a chance to dry and therefore thin, but it’s not bad. I hope you at least recognize Van Gogh’s Starry Night.

  • That time in our lives

    Friday night, my long-time friend David Stern emailed me that his father, Jack, had passed away after a long battle with Alzheimer’s. I hadn’t seen him in ages, but he was a fun guy when I was 14 and he was making goofy jokes about salt air.

    A few months ago, my good friend Linda’s mom also passed away (unfortunately, also of Alzheimer’s).

    A few years ago, my friend Mitch lost his mom, one of the sweetest ladies I’ve ever met (she literally baked us a cake when she knew we were coming over one day, many years ago.)

    This has gotten me thinking, of course, that it’s starting to be the time when my friend’s parents are getting to the age where we will start losing them. Fortunately, my folks are comparatively young (and Kim’s are kids, by comparison), and they’re all healthy, but I have a feeling that over the next 5 years, this is going to become commonplace. Getting old sucks, but I guess it’s better than the alternative.

    *sigh*

    What comes around, goes around, so if you’d like to drop some cash into the hands of the Alzheimer’s foundation click the icon below:

  • When you are engulfed in David Sedaris

    This evening found me in Baltimore with a friend getting to see a live performance by David Sedaris, one of the funniest writers I know. I was afraid that seeing him would be one of those exercises where the author just reads the stuff everyone knows, trying to promote his new book (it IS a book tour, after all), and very little of it would be fresh. However, I was very happily mistaken and had heard nothing previously of the material that he read tonight.

    One of the highlights was an excerpt from a story where he is talking how he and his long-time companion Hugh split the household tasks:

    “Hugh will plaster up a wall that needs fixing, and I will make armor for dead, dried up bees out of tin foil.”

    Another was where he discussed the present election, saying that those who are undecided reminded him of airline meal choices:

    ‘I don’t know that it was always this way, but, for as long as I can remember, just as we move into the final weeks of the Presidential campaign the focus shifts to the undecided voters. “Who are they?” the news anchors ask. “And how might they determine the outcome of this election?”

    Then you’ll see this man or woman — someone, I always think, who looks very happy to be on TV. “Well, Charlie,” they say, “I’ve gone back and forth on the issues and whatnot, but I just can’t seem to make up my mind!” Some insist that there’s very little difference between candidate A and candidate B. Others claim that they’re with A on defense and health care but are leaning toward B when it comes to the economy.

    I look at these people and can’t quite believe that they exist. Are they professional actors? I wonder. Or are they simply laymen who want a lot of attention?

    To put them in perspective, I think of being on an airplane. The flight attendant comes down the aisle with her food cart and, eventually, parks it beside my seat. “Can I interest you in the chicken?” she asks. “Or would you prefer the platter of shit with broken glass in it?”

    To be undecided in this election is to pause for a moment and then ask how the chicken is cooked.’

    The readings were great, and afterwards we waited on line for about an hour to get a few books signed. The line wasn’t really that long, but when we got up to the front it became obvious why the line moved so slowly–Sedaris takes his time talking to each person, asking odd questions (he asked me casually “so, what’s the last animal you killed with your bare hands?” to which I replied, “well, there was this kodiak bear in the living room the other day I had to dispatch…” That earned me a laugh.)

    He also takes his time writing in people’s books. Mine says “To Paul, Diabetes is for lovers”, which, really, does say it all, doesn’t it?

    I asked him for some advice at this point on the whole bee-armor thing, saying that when I make my bee armies, and have them fight with the wasp armies, the legs get brittle and tend to fall off. He sagely suggested that I just accept this as part of the battle and instead of worrying about it, I use that as the measuring stick to determine the winner.

    See? Helpful, as well as insightful and funny. What more could one ask for?

  • Jersey Boy

    It took months, but after a number of false starts, difficulty finding the right jersey, time taken getting up to visit Mr. Manning, my mom got upstairs to her neighbor, Eli Manning, QB for the NY Giants and got the lovely jersey she bought signed. She also took care of getting it framed and here it is on my wall. I have to say I think it came out amazing, and the guys who hung it up for me were seriously jealous.





    Thanks, Mom!

  • Trapped…Like a Woodchuck!

    Several times over the past few weeks I’ve seen what looked like a huge hamster with a think brown tail. Guesses as to what the creature was were forthcoming, ranging from a groundhog (my original guess) to a pony (katie’s guess) to a badger (ellen’s guess). Fortunately for all of us, my guess was correct, and the fuzzy creature you see below has been eating our garden, plants, trees, grass, and anything else he can get his little teeth into:

    Having seen it actually scamper across our driveway and under our deck, I was painfully aware that the problem was not going away. Also, I didn’t want to end up like Bill Murray, and have to marry the painfully self-righteous Andie MacDowell. So, last night, a trap was purchased and simply set out next to the deck with some apples inside of it (groundhogs are supposed to like apples–don’t ask me, I just take the orders). After it was set, we got into a lively debate around the table regarding the configuration of the trap with Ellen, who insisted that it should have the following, additional traits:

    1, it have multiple compartments, for catching many bits ‘o prey at once.
    2, that it have a conveyor belt to escort that prey to its designated compartment after it stumbles into what would be the loudest trap ever.
    3, that it have a solar power source to work the conveyor belt.
    4, that it have a nuclear power source to send a signal to a receiver that the operator (me) would wear in his pocket.
    5, that the receiver would also be nuclear in some way (she called it a “nuclear pulse” that would be sent to my pocket…I said I didn’t think so for the painfully obvious reasons…)

    So, after we spent a few minutes roundly making fun of her on this any many other scores the way we, as supportive parents, tend to do, we dispersed from dinner and headed to bed. Upon waking this morning, I was informed by Kim that several things had happened regarding the trap that I should be aware of:

    1, the trap was full–of Raccoon.
    2, the groundhog was sitting happily right outside the trap munching on a leaf, looking at the raccoon, and scampered off when Kim came near.

    Thus, we owe Ellen an apology. Clearly her conveyor belt system had some merits. Had we had additional compartments, the Raccoon would not be lonely right now, but instead we would have two wild animals caged in our backyard, attacking each other for the 2 apples I left cut up in the trap.

    Oh, and Happy Birthday Katiebug! Way to turn 8!

  • What to do with cold pizza

    Home alone for 2 weeks, I ordered a pizza 2 days ago, ate 3 slices, and have a big ‘ole bunch of leftovers. So, trying to decide what to do with them, I came up with the following idea, which came out really well:

    1, Take 2 slices of pizza, preferably the same size. They should be cold, e.g., right out of the fridge.

    2, Take any toping you want on the pizza in addition to what’s already there. It probably won’t work with too much stuff, but you can put a fair amount on. I grilled some salami and used that, but diced chicken or leftover sausage or whatever. Oh, try to make sure whatever it is isn’t particularly wet–it’ll just get sloppy.

    3, You’ll need a Panini press. I have this one which I like because it’s got a flat plate. A grill-like one will work here too. Get it nice and hot first.

    4, Take slice one, the larger of the two if they’re not equal sized and put it face up on the bottom of the press, put your toppings on top of this, and put the second slice upside down (cheese down) on top of the first.

    5, close the press and let it cook.

    As the pizza heats, the griddle will crisp the top and bottom at the same time as it slowly heats the middle and melts the cheese, goo-ing up the toppings together. This is a knife and fork meal, but it’s damn good.

    Enjoy!

  • Founding Fathers

    The other day, the kids were home and Ellen was bored so Kim gave here some modeling clay. She made George Washington, as pictured below.

    And really, why not?

  • The Glasses Press

    A few weeks ago, Katie decided that she needed to write a newspaper. Her first thought, I believe, was that she would sell it to our neighbors. That’s my little capitalist right there. However, quickly abused of this notion by us, she decided to write it anyway and spent quite a bit of time writing assorted articles, including a very nice review of Wall-E.

    So, without further ado, The Glasses Press is available here

    Way to go, Buggie!

  • Wuv, twue wuv

    kim related this story, as told to her by one of the counsellors at MSU camp:

    Gary, one of the counsellors, stopped Katie and said that he was heading over to where Ellen was, and did she have any message to pass on to her.

    Katie: tell her “me wuv you”

    So Gary dutifuly passes on the message and asks Ellen if she had any reply:

    Ellen: yes, tell Katie to use proper grammar.

    SO Ellen.

  • The Sidewalk Cynic

    Although there is nothing “funny” about homelessness, there are some who clearly attempt to use their wits to gain an advantage to grab the extra coin or two. Here’s an example of such, and although I usually don’t give these folks anything but food if I have some, I stopped after passing him and returned specifically to give him a few coins and take a picture, which he graciously posed for.

    Does this say something about him, or about the shallowness of our society that people actually care enough about these “news” stories that they grace the covers of dozens of magazines and newspapers. Sidewalk cynic, indeed. Imagine where this guy might be if the money we spent on “People” and “Us” went to him to improve his lot.

    And, of course, it’s a damn funny sign…