Author: paul@digitaldendrite.com

This is from the NY Times, and is the acccount of a journalist with a sleep disorder. I’m going to do that exact thing in 2 weeks–head to a sleep center to check into whether I have one or not.

Next week, part II!

This from the wonderful Neil Gaiman’s blog, and mind:

This one puzzled me when it came in. Short, to the point, but a little opaque.

Can i have a short summary of each chapter please?, I need it because it is for my journal I will thank you so much.
?
But?when?that?was immediately followed by the equally desperate,?

I really need it if you do not mind, thank you, I will give the credit that you need.
?
How could I say no? So: A short summary of each chapter. Er. Right.

In Chapter One we meet Johnny Theremin.
In Chapter Two we learn all about the Men Without Tents and why they claim to need?an original 78 rpm recording of Raymond Scott’s “Dinner Music For A Pack Of Hungry Cannibals” so badly.
In Chapter Three Johnny Theremin is locked out of his office by the landlord, and Morris Glanz buys (but does not eat) a bar of chocolate.
In Chapter Four Millicent loses her glove, and the dinosaurs attack. Tap-dancing occurs. Johnny Theremin is beaten over the head with a blunt instrument. (Later revealed to be?a bassoon.)
In Chapter Five Johnny learns to snorkel, and The Faceless Chickens make their first move.
In Chapter Six Johnny meets Belladonna (who advertises herself professionally as “Slippery When Wet”) and loses her again, in tragical circumstances.
In Chapter Seven we discover a cache of Raymond Scott Quintette records, and finally understand why the aliens are so scared of trellises. ?
In Chapter Eight the secret of Millicent’s glove is finally revealed, as are Miss Belladonna’s unusual physical characteristics. Once more?Johnny Theremin is beaten over the head with a blunt instrument. This time it’s a harpsichord.
In Chapter Nine The Men Without Tents return,?bearing omelettes. Terrible things are?proposed.?Omelettes are?regurgitated.
In Chapter Ten, Johnny pays the rent, and is finally?allowed back into his office,?where Millicent discovers her true self, behind the sofa. The aliens?ascend with the Other Glove, but not before persuading?the Faceless Chickens to leave humanity alone.?Probably. For this week.
And at the last, in the Epilogue, Belladonna eats the late Morris Glanz’s?bar of chocolate.

You’re welcome.

That’s just bloody brilliant.

Thanks, dear Di…now, where the HELL are you?

Family’s home. Kim and the kids arrived home last night in a short window of “good” (i.e., not Noah-flood-story rainy) weather. They had taxied out to the runway where they proceeded to sit for 90 minutes, she and 2 little girls. However, they are GOOD little girls and were quiet and watched a video and read their books and met me at the airport jumping into my arms.

And it’s good to have them home. I do like the solitude of these stretches, but I miss my partner lying next to me at night, and I miss my children running around with my name on their lips to see how well they did a puzzle in a video game or to look at the piece of totally random “artwork” they made just for me, etc.

We’ll see how long this lasts…;)

So it’s been 2 weeks that my family is away in the great state of Iowa and although I miss them, it’s been a nice, quiet break. No getting up early, I’ve been going to bed earlier, too, which has been nice. Dinner is whenever. There’s something really nice about being responsible only for myself. But I miss my little ones terribly and I miss my wife just as much. They’re my lives, and it always takes this forced emptiness to show that.

But, I DO like sleep too. 😉

Went to see Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban again tonight, but went to the Loew’s IMAX on 61st and Broadway in the city. This screen is…BIG. BIG isn’t a big enough word. 8 stories high, 12,000 watt speaker system. BIGBIG. That’s a bit better. It was very very cool. I loved the movie, but it was SO clear you could catch all the little details (like the guy reading “A Brief History of Time” in the Leaky Cauldron!), and the sound was absolutely pristine so I heard everything. We’re gonna try to catch spiderman 2 when it comes there in a month or so.

The commute back, however, was very annoying. There’s SUPPOSED to be a 24 hour local bus that runs near my house, from Newark. I found out the hard way that there isn’t. Well, $35 for a cab is better than sleeping in the Newark bus terminal…

Out late last night to diner with friends. We went to Carmine’s, in the city. Good food, spotty service. I had a great time, but after the 11 PM bus home, finally in bed at 1, up at 7…TIRED. And tonight, it’s the Harry Potter at IMAX, again on the 11 PM bus…i’ll be wiped by tomorrow, but it’s fun to get out.

Zzzzzzzz

(BTW, for those reading this on the same amount of sleep as he who is writing this, the title was a reference to “burning the candle at both ends. Geez…)

Grouchy, grouchy, grouchy…and then filp the channel to Turner Classic Movies and there’s Superman I, the best of them all, and with it a broad smile across my face. I’ll tell you, the scene where he saves Lois the first time, and he says “Don’t worry, Miss. I’ve got you.”, to which she responds “Y-you’ve got me…Who’s got you!?”…what a great scene.

I’m up much later than I wanted, but boy do I feel better.

Thanks, Superman!

You know, sometimes things just mount up, and it can happen in a hurry. Here i was 5 minutes ago in a good mood and then BAM, just a few things and I’m really pissy.

To anyone I offend during this time, I apologize in advance.

Unless you deserve it.

This, courtesy of The New York Times:

Sneak Preview! The Cheney-Edwards Debate
By ANDY BOROWITZ

LANNING for the 2004 vice presidential debate is already under way. In an attempt to level the playing field, Senator John Edwards’s image will be digitally altered to make him 40 percent less “hot looking,” and Vice President Dick Cheney will be on a five-second delay. Finally, each man has submitted a wish list of questions to ask the other during the high-stakes face-off.

QUESTIONS FOR DICK CHENEY

1. Former Senator Alfonse D’Amato has suggested President Bush dump you from the ticket. What’s your response to him, in two words?

2. If Halliburton and the Carlyle Group both invited you to the movies on the same night, who would you go with?

3. Over the past four years, how many days would you say you spent above ground?

4. Describe in detail your favorite high-impact aerobics routine.

5. Didn’t “Fahrenheit 9/11” totally rock?

6. Exactly when did you remove Kenneth Lay from your online buddy list?

7. If there really are no plans to reinstitute the draft, why did you just request a sixth deferment?

8. Is it true that you wept during Darth Vader’s death scene?

9. If anything happened to you while serving a second term, would George Bush be fit to be president?

10. Here’s something I’ve always wondered: Does the other side of your mouth work?

QUESTIONS FOR JOHN EDWARDS

1. Who made the final out in the 1954 World Series?

2. What do you have that Dick Gephardt doesn’t have, besides eyebrows?

3. Agree/disagree with the following statement: “Litigators are opportunistic leeches who are sucking the lifeblood from our nation’s economy.”

4. On average, how many times a day do you check yourself out in shiny surfaces?

5. Is it true that your son, Jack, said of Senator Kerry, “Daddy, please don’t make me play with that weird old guy anymore”?

6. On the night Neil Armstrong stepped onto the moon, which pajamas were you wearing, the ones with the cowboys or the ones with the ducks?

7. What’s your secret to remaining fully conscious when Senator Kerry is speaking?

8. What’s Malibu Barbie really like?

9. If, as you say, there are two Americas, which one is your vacation home in?

10. Do you have any idea how late it is? This is a school night.

I love the question about the PJ’s…;)