June 2012 Archives

Today was one of the longest days I can remember, but in both good and bad ways, and just about everything in between.

Good news: We moved into our new house.

Bad news: We moved into our new house.

There is nothing quite as exhausting, harrowing and soul wearying as moving, especially when it's a big move involving a tractor-trailer worth of stuff.

Linda, Chris and I were up and out by 8 to meet the movers who, although they tried valiantly, were unable to get the semi closer than about 100 feet from our driveway. The street is just too narrow and they gave up after about 30 minutes of minute backing up and down the street (and getting yelled at by a neighbor...) So, a long day for a bunch of guys who earned their pay + tip + the big lunch I bought them. What a way to make a living...

So, by 9 the movers were bringing things in and we were shuttling them into place as best we could.

At 10:30, Kim came over with freshly baked banana muffins. Really? Yup. I'm a pretty lucky guy to have such a great relationship with my Ex, and as always she went above and beyond.

At 11, the Verizon FIOS guy game and went ABOVE AND BEYOND doing wiring all over my house of both coax AND Cat-5e for me, saving me a huge amount of time and trouble.

At 1 someone came to give us an estimate on central AC for this house. Let's just say that following the discussion, I went out to home depot, rented a van, and bought 5 window units. $35,000 for AC is not in the cards anytime soon...

Lindsay slept until about 1 PM. Yay for active teenagers...

Back to drop off the van at Home Depot, grab the car and head to Costco for a stock up run.

Back home to find my kids actively bustling around the place putting things away with Chris and Lindsay and Linda.

Forward about 30 minutes later and Kim came by again, this time joining us for dinner. 7 people, all family, sitting around the dinner table in a chaos of boxes and half-unwrapped stuff. Except that all that was forgotten while the family--this big, crazy family--continued to bond and grow together in the best way imaginable.

This is going to be fun. Tiring, but so much fun.

It is with profoundly conflicted emotions that I wrap up what will be my last night living in the home I've helped create for at least the last 14 years. As many of you know, Kim and I have been on the road to divorce for what seems like forever, and which will actually be official on Friday. Ironically, that's almost an afterthought compared to the fact that, after I wake up tomorrow and walk out of my door, I will never be coming back to live here. I'll be boarding an Amtrak to VA after work, as I have done for more than 2 years at this point, but when I come back on Sunday, it will not be by train, but driving one of the cars in the final stage of moving Linda, Lindsay, Chris and myself to our new home a few blocks away.

Starting Monday (assuming all goes well), I'll be helping set up a new life for myself, Linda, and her kids in West Orange. Of course, I'll see Kim and my kids often, if not daily, at least every other day or so, but to know that I will not be living in what was my room, sleeping in what was my bed, is a hard truth.

Tonight was spent watching TV and movies with Kim and the kids. A Mythbusters with dinner, and then at least Ellen and I made it through one of my all-time favorite films, Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid. Kim slept through part of it (and hey, it wouldn't be Kim if she hadn't...) and Katie slept through most of it, but it was so nice to snuggle on the couch with my girls.

So, first and foremost, thank you Kim for making the best of a weird situation, for never making me feel like a stranger or intruder here, and for always making me feel at home. Without the ease of our relationship, this would have been so much more difficult.

Next, I hope my girls know how much I love them, and will always love them. I hope they see that this is a transition, not a goodbye, and that, if anything, I'll actually get to see them more in the upcoming days than I have with all the weekends away.

Lastly, and not least, part of me is starting to get excited at the prospect of all the years of effort and struggle to make this grandiose idea come true. This idea of not leaving one family for another, but of making one large family where everyone can be in town for all of the events in people's lives, instead of having to try to plan a special trip when it's feasible. The prospect of having two groups of parents and kids be able to intermingle like one big group, be able to spend time, come and go, and genuinely care about all the goings-on, both small and large in each other's lives. The idea that Kim and my kids understand that they are more than invited to come spend time at our new home, but that they know they will be missed when they're not around.

Here's to the big plan, the grand idea, and a new, bright future surrounded by the people I love.